I'll be leaving (story+thoughts)

did you ever feel how hard is it to leave someone you love? (specificly im not talking about boys ok .. im talking about friends..)

so long my dad works in some place where every 2/3 years he will work out from this country for 3/4 years approx. idk...i went to a lot of country before but I loved thailand i miss living there..(since that's the only place i remember being there :s)

So i just got back from school (5th september 2012) and my mom suddenly said .if we go out again you're going to go to college in the country we will go . so i was like .. why is she saying this..so i asked ,why do you ask this? .and she said that my dad got gossips that he's going to berlin probably this year or next year..

I was in a moment of silence for real..because a couple of years ago he also got gossips he'll be going to berlin and it was real but it got cancelled cause he got promoted (moment of happiness)

Back to the story..so then i asked when. she doesnt know . i don't really have a lot to say so i just stood there and cry (my mom is driving so she can't see) and i can't stop thinking about it till now so i decide i want to write this

so i'm at my home now opened my computer scrolling on my friends facebook profile. my picture with them and just...cry...cause im not going to see them not so long...and to think that i'll be going to college there..makes me think college prob. around 3/4 years or more... so... highschool 2years=college =6 years

HOLY SHIT 6 FLIPPIN YEARS. I'LL BE 21 WHEN I GOT BACK HOME.



I don't want to go ... really ...and even the most beautiful country ever. i still don't wanna go ... do you know why?

I LOVE IT HERE..why do i love it here? BECAUSE MY FRIENDS IS HERE. :( yes . i love my friends sososo much i literally can't imagine leaving them . i know i will get new friends there,i will get good friends there ... but You can't replace anyone . even there's a new friend.  you can' replace the old one . they are all original . they are all...................my friend

I MEAN .6 friggin years you kidding me?? i can't even imagine like 6 years ago i was freaking 9 and its SOSOSOSO long time ago .... and imagine that im gonna live SO FAR like in europe . and you can't just go back to indonesia anytime you want

even when i live in thailand i only got back home like once a year or twice a year... IMAGINE LIVING HERE.MUCH MUCH FURTHER . I WILL NEVER GOING BACK :( I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE I WILL CRY ALL DAY . I HATE GOODBYES. i hate it so much why does it need to exist..how do i say to my friends that i will leave like "hey im leaving you for 6 years okay, see you guys in 2019 or 2018 ..

My heart feels like it got stabbed now..

gue tua

GUEE TUAA LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

sekian

Gloomy day :s

 #curhatanadik
why do i care so much for people who don't even give the same amount of care?
I always feel worried every time my good friends feels upset/disappointed/sad/mad etc. I'll do WHAT EVER to protect my friends

it feels like im a person in the background unless i'm needed. I always smile and help my friends when they need me make them laugh even if im in my worst mood ever . it literally happend.
I never show the side of me that is totally weak sensitive high temper big thinker


I care for my friends,I listen to their stories,I helped them when they need me, make them laugh when theyre bored . But i feel like no body understands the REAL me ,  I swear if my school asks to pick a partner , everyone have a partner except me (it really did happend)

Seeing all my friends got their own each individual group of friends like they always meet up before & after school , while myself walks alone except if suddenly i joined a group of people.
Before sleeping every night , thinking about them

The fact that my friends only talks to me when they're = bored,need something from me, upset so they need to tell story...not because we're friends and they want to talk to me because they love me

I mean, I don't know if i'm stupid but my friend asked if i could come with her to wait for her for several hours for her english lesson after school so I did.. I'll wait till the middle of the night just to say happy birthday , I'll chat with my friend in really early morning (like 2am-4am and so) because she can't sleep ,I'll do it , i'll cry cuz of my friend lost somone important from their life

But from all of that, i never feel like one of them sits down besides me asks me about my day ,sacrifice the same amount for me

Haha screw that..i'll tell my own stories to my dairy, it listens to me

yang gak tertarik sama gue gak usah baca AHAHA

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy nama gue anggi ato gipe ato angie ato terserah lo manggil gue kutu kuda juga boleh kook . ini blog kedua gue isinya curcol gitu loh kalo yang pertama gue ngomongnya bahasa inggris.biasalah bule gitu deh gue gimanayaa ;;) HAHA

7 april 1997 lahirnya di jakarta . cuman 3% kemungkinan orang yang gue kenal baca ini. dan pasti dia stalker ato ngefans gitu sama GUEEEHHH ato gue kasih tau linknya . gue orangnya tuh malu gitu deh kalo sama orang gak dikenal .ato mau ngerepotin tuh paling gak bisa HAHA. sok malu ya.padahal gak punya malu juga..
Gak bisa ngeliat temen apalagi temen deket sedih . nggak suka banget sama orang tukang bohong,penghianat atau yang main rahasia2an ..kecuali emang privacy geto day..terusterus gue kadang2 gampang tersinggung

gue "awkward-type" jadi kalo lo gak deket banget sama gue dan kita jalan berdua bakal bener2 awkward diem2an malu2 gaje gituu kecuali kalo udah nemu bahan topik tapi sekarang sih kayaknya nggak deh tapi gatau juga-_-terus gue gaksuka diomongin fisik..gasuka orang yang becandanya main fisik kasar getchooo

kalo lo bikin gue marah..gue nggak dendaman,kalau kesel dilupain aja, daripada ada masalah , kecuali yang gak bisa dilupain . daan gue nggak bisa ngontrol emosi jadi sori kalo misalkan tibatiba gitu gue ngata2in lo abisnya gedek HA

Gue bukan girlygirly type yang cewek..gue lebih ke cowo..gue suka online games yang cowok suka..dulu temen2 gue cowo semua.tapi gara2 dimarahin nyokap temen gue sekarang cewek..HA.HA..

sisi negatipnya tuh gue keras kepala terus gampang tersinggung ,kalo becanda kadang2 ngeselin , kalo ngomong kadang2 dalem
gue sbenrnya gak tau tujuan nge post ini abisnya aku gak punya tempat curcolan qq HAHAHA tp serius ini siapa tau biar kenalan gitu sama gue ;;)
HA HA HA ;) bye